Lately i've been feeling restless. It happens every few years or so…this deep gnawing on my heart for something new. Something exciting. Something fun. And for a good chunk of my twenties, I skipped from job to job, country to country, study abroad to internship…all in search of adventure and good fun.
In my late twenties, I felt called to counseling and started grad school. The entire duration of my masters program, it felt so right. Like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, learning and doing the things I dreamed about. It was empowering and exciting…and I felt so called to this profession.
And now i'm out, in the work force, sitting with people in their brokenness…and it feels hard.
At times it feels scary and overwhelming.
And the last week or so, i've even felt a bit fearful.
"Did I hear God right?"
"Can I do this?"
"This is hard"
And to be honest, I've thought "maybe I should have just become a travel writer, or a full-time blogger, or something that involves travel"
And while none of those are bad careers in and of themselves, it brings me to a place where I have to examine my calling…my purpose in life.
And I go back to the drawing board each time…
that God has called me to a life of service.
Of standing with others in their pain,
supporting, encouraging and calling out hope.
A life apart from this kind of work doesn't feel complete to me.
And I am encouraged, that sometimes the hard places are where we are supposed to be. That we can allow the Holy Spirit to move in us. We may be fearful, but HE is ever so strong, and good, and mysterious and can work through us even when we fall so short. I suppose that's why we are called Vessels…we are just open to let God flow right through us and bring His Kingdom here on earth!
This morning, I picked up the latest copy of Relevant Magazine, and the editor Cameron Strang wrote an excellent piece called "Restless to Find your Calling". I was so so encouraged by it.
Here's an excerpt I found incredibly insightful,
"I read a report recently that said the average twenty something stays in a job, on average less than 18 months…..I mean, I get it- especially in your twenties you're still figuring out what you want to do. Sometimes you need to try out a job to see if it's the sort of work God is calling you to do or not. You're learning and growing professionally and as you grow God will open new doors for you. Your dreams are being clarifies and you're getting a clearer sense of how your calling and profession intersect.
But there's a flip side to that season if we're not careful- one that can lead to restlessness. Too much change can prevent healthy rootedness, and keep us in perpetually temporary seasons. If it isn't fun anymore, we'll just swipe left and move on.
But if God has you in a job for a certain season, couldn't it be that he has you there for a reason much deeper than just your income? What is the impact you're supposed to make there? What is God trying to teach you?
In jumping from job to job we can actually lose sight of the larger things God is doing in our lives."
I totally agree with Cameron…if we just look to the next best thing that is fun and exciting, we may loose out on an opportunity to go deeper with those around us who God may have put strategically in our life.
Kevin and I talk about the idea that if we were to just perpetually travel and never put down roots, we would miss out on getting to know our friends and neighbors in a deeper way. Sure, there is social media and Skype, but it isn't the same as sitting with a friend and holding her when she finds out a family member has died, or inviting people to church each week, or walking with a friend who is going through a tough time.
So i'm stepping out of fear, out of FOMO, and out of just wanting to escape pain (or sometimes monotony). I'm going to choose to step into my calling, even when it's hard, because it is in those challenging places that we meet and walk with Jesus in new ways as He leads us ever forth on the purpose He has for our lives:)
May you be encouraged that even if your 'calling' doesn't feel so glamorous or exciting, it is sacred and holy and God is using you in beautiful ways!! Happy Tuesday!